Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Do you think my gun will fall out?

One of the many joys of working at an amusement park is getting to hear the incredibly stupid questions, excusing, and mindless chatter of the customers. For your viewing pleasure I have decided to share with you my more interesting stories and quotes. This is a once and a lifetime opportunity to get a brief glimpse of what my life is like ALL summer long! (Everything in the parenthesis is either what I said or thought and thoughts will be in italics)

"Is it ok if I bring guns on the ride?"
(No)
"When I said 'guns' I meant my arms. They're buff aren't they?"
(No)

(Excuse me but you need to wait for the operator to let you into the ride. You just can't open the gate and walk on through.)
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know anyone was operating this ride"
(If no one was running the ride: why are they people sitting in the ride, how does the ride know when to go and why would you try to get on it the first place?)

"Hey could you play so different music, like rap or something"
(I have no control of the music. I'm sorry.)
"Like I believe that, if I gave you a little tip could you change the music?"
(It would have to be a pretty big tip, but I could rap for you myself over the microphone. I really don't have control of the music. It is locked away in a little box in the booth and I don't have the key or different music to put on)
"You are such a lazy worker! Beep beep can't even take the time to change a little beeping music for a paying customer what the beep is this?"
(Oh for pitty's sake)

(I'm sorry but your daughter's not quite tall enough to ride this ride. She needs to be 54 inches)
"They said that she could ride every ride in the park."
(I'm sorry but she is tall enough ride every other ride in the park, except this one. And who exactly is 'they' anyways?)
"We had to buy her an ADULT wristband so therefore she should be able to ride every ride that WE can!"
(Actually you bought her an over 48 inches wristband which means she over 48 inches. However she isn't 54 inches which means for her own safety she can't ride this ride!)
"Well she's with me so she can ride."
(No. For safety reasons the state requires that riders be 54 inches.)
"I want to talk to your supervisor! You are such a beep beep beep..."
(Fine go ahead. They'll tell you the same thing only they won't be as nice about it.)

"Can I have your phone number?"
(No.)
"Why not?"
(Because my imaginary boyfriend wouldn't like it.)
"How's he supposed to know?"
(I'd tell him.)

"Hi. What's your name?"
(I'm feeling a stalker comin' on...Ellen.)
"Hi Ellen. I'm Max. You are so beautiful."
(Actually I'm kinda hot and sweaty, but whatever. Thanks.)
"Do you live around here?"
(No, actually I live in Oregon. I come here every summer for a month to visit my cousins.)
"Who are your cousins? Maybe I know them!"
(Shoot me)

"Do you think my gun will fall out?"
(Uhhh. Do you actually have one?)
"Yeah. Oh I'm a cop. So do you think it'll fall out because I can leave it here."
(No! NO! It won't fall out! By all means take it with you!)

"Hey I remember you! You were on that one water ride last year! Do you remember me? I see you every year I come!"
(I can't decide which is more pathetic that you actually remember me or that I was actually here)


Welcome to my world.

2 Comments:

Blogger kiwi said...

haha! those were hilarious! i can identify on a bunch of those! you get a lot of random questions from patrons such as "When does the zoo close?" and "How do i get to the mall from here?" and other questions when lifeguarding. But i'm officlally done guarding for the summer! yeah baby! Are you done with work as well? I hope school's going well for ya so far! i'm definately jealous about your large dorm room! talk to ya later!!

9/5/06, 10:02 PM  
Blogger Done said...

Allison, I love this post.. you are possibly the most amazing person I will ever meet... :)

10/3/06, 11:48 PM  

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