Thank You Nelly and Fergie
As test scores plummet and America's youth become less inclined to study, it is nice to know that someone is putting their popularity to good use. My thanks go out to Nelly and Fergie on behalf of American citizens who actually care about the decline of decent vocabularies of our teenagers and college students. Through the influence of certain modern musical genres youngsters have taken up words like "fo shizzle" and their life dream is to become a "gansta" or a "ho" depending on gender. As a result education is pushed down further on the list of important tasks. I commend the efforts of Nelly and Fergie to try to help the youth of America regain their desire to learn. In two popular songs, Nelly and Fergie have used a word longer than 5 letters, "promiscuous". No doubt Nelly and Fergie left many youngsters scratching their heads, wondering what on earth that horrifyingly long word could ever mean. So thank you Nelly and Fergie for attempting to add a little education and, dare I say, culture, to your music. They could have easily said "I am a slut"/"I'm not a whore" or "I sleep around"/"I don't have an easy virtue". Instead, they thought of our nation's SAT scores and the growing mockery that the United States is gaining in international circles. Soon travel agencies in France will be bearing posters that say "Come to America the land of the fat savages!" "For only $400 take a historical tour of one of the world's former powers!" "Live among the natives for two weeks and learn about the downfall of an advanced society!"
Before I end, I would like to make a request: Ladies, now that you've shown you have a vocabulary that isn't limited to dirty 4-letter words, please o, please work on your grammar. And if it isn't too much trouble please be good role models to our young girls who desire nothing more than to be just like you.