Sleepless in Seattle

I can't sleep. The early morning light is beginning to peak through my window. I tried to count sheep, but to no avail. I read until my eyes were barely able to stay open, but here I sit wide-eyed and bushy tailed. This is the second night in a row that I have been so afflicted. My brain just cannot seem to turn off. One stray thought leads to another and another until a complicated scenario has unfolded in my brain. I prayed and prayed but still my brain refused to shut down. I am miserable and bored out of my mind. I like sleeping. It is one of my favorite pastimes. I like better than eating and that is saying quite a bit. I like dreaming most of all simply because I have the most messed up mind in the world. Last night after I was finally able to fall asleep I dreamed that it was the rapture and God took everyone up on a train to heaven. I foolishly said something like "dang-it" and God became angry with me. Apparently (according to my dream at least) the term "dang-it" means something derogatory to God's grey hair. One of my professor's desperately wanted to go up to heaven with everyone else so he snuck aboard the train and God yelled at him, but he was allowed to stay. My mind is so out there right now if you cannot tell by my mindless chatter. I thought about doing homework instead of writing a blog but I don't have enough juice in my head right now to actually think about intelligent things. I decided that I want to start learning ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics and that Egyptology would be my dream profession. However I would have to get my masters in Egyptology to actually become a really snazzy Egyptologist and I think that I may be too lazy to actually stay in school that long. I apologize to whoever actually reads this, I bet your brain is leaking through your ears right now. I feel like that every time I watch a Tammy movie. For those of you blissfully unaware about Tammy movies, they are a series of like three movies about a girl who lives on a shanty boat on some river that I should know but can't remember right now. Anyways she falls madly in love with like three different guys in the movies. Don't ever watch them. You will feel 67% dumber afterwards. I am soooooooooooo tired. This is unbelievable. I thought about drinking some hot milk to see if that would help, but then I remembered I don't have any milk and I can barely stand to drink milk cold and it probably tastes 10 times worse hot. I am at the point where sleeping pills are sounded really nice, but I don't have any. Then I thought "hey, I've got some sleepy nighttime cold medicine." However, I still have some of my senses intact and decided that wouldn't be a good idea either. So here I am typing away into nothingness about nothing thinking how grand it would be to be asleep. I bought Little Mermaid last night at midnight when it came out. It was very exciting. I think I probably watched the sing along like twenty times already (and boisterously joined in of course). I think that I shall end this rather interesting little epic on that note and it is off to bed for me...again. However you know what they say: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Whoever said that should be shot, quartered and dragged through the streets behind a herd of stampeding elephants........