Little Green Tractors

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls! Life has just ended as everyone knows it. I have finally received my driver's license this morning. Please, please no loud applause, no standing ovations, no gifts of silver and gold! Well, I suppose that if you want to bring me gifts of silver and gold, I wouldn't turn you away. At any rate I know many of my dear friends will be very glad to hear my happy tidings. Of course even this seemingly normal evolution of human development could not go quite normally for me. No, nothing in my life is quite as simple as it should be. Last night my brother and I were in a drive thru minding our own business when the big 'ol honkin' truck in front of us decided hunger was no longer calling his name. He backs up and goes BAAAAMMM into my poor darling car Polly! Of course I was driving, preparing for my driver's test the next morning. Poor Polly has a huge trailer hitch sized hole in her front bumper. :( I know that you are all thinking "oh that is horrible", please save that sentiment until the end. Oh yes dear readers there is more to my wonderful little driver's license story. There was a VERY large storm where I live last evening. Guess who was driving home when the big bolts of lightening and sheets of rain came hurtling down upon the earth? Yes, that is correct, ME. Needless to say I had more than just a little bit of trouble driving in that gunk. When John and I finally arrived safely at home (only by the grace of God), we discover that the power is out at my home. That was around ten o'clock, it stayed out until 5:30 this morning, which means no air conditioner...grrrr. Anyways with the moving in of the enormous storm John had to cut the driving practice short which left me with a very large problem. I had yet to learn how to parallel park and when I say "yet to learn" I mean never attempted in my life. So by the light of a few candles and a flashlight, John showed me how to parallel park using two toy tractors and a flip flop. I passed parallel parking. In fact the instructor said I did a great job. How insane is that? My life is just not quite normal...

You Know You've Worked at an Amusement Park TOOOOO Long When....

1. You can say with absolute seriousness "Oh that's just a little bile, easy as pie to clean up"

2. You know the names of all the maintenance workers and which ride is their specialty

3. You know the height and ticket requirements of every ride

4. After noticing you received a dirty glass in a restaurant you decide to go ahead and drink out of it reasoning that you've had worse things in your ice water at work (bugs, paint chips, chunks of rust, grease...etc)

5. Making people puke and cleaning it up becomes fun

6. The cashier at the local Burger King has your order memorized year after year when you come in your uniform shirt on dinner break

7. On your day off you go to the park and your fellow employees don't recognize you out of uniform

8. The supervisors have your employee number memorized

9. You know the speed, date installed, weight limit, and passenger capacity of every ride in the park.

10. You know what ride you're on and who you are working with the night before

11. Torturing scared riders becomes an art

12. Returning customers not only remember you but what ride you were one the year before

13. A smile and affirmative response becomes an expressionless grunt

14. In crowded places you begin checking height and wristbands

15. The maintenance men say "hello" to you by name in Walmart

16. You invent new and interesting ways to push the same buttons(knees, forehead, elbows, feet...)

17. Your work bag contains rubber gloves (pukers), a deck of cards (for rainy days), a bouncy ball and other random toys (to keep your hands occupied), a book (for slow days), bandaids (for those little work related injuries), a hammer (to pound in those pesky popped up platform nails) and snacks galore....

18. You can answer a customer's question before they ask it, usually with a "no"

19. You begin to see and recognize old customers outside of the park

20. You can cut off your queue lines to be finished exactly at closing time

21. You look like you are working really hard when in reality you aren't doing much of anything

22. The phrase "enjoying the simple things in life" translates into laughing at scared crying children, purposely making the ride go longer so someone will barf, fighting with a fellow operator over a quarter, climbing around places on a ride only employees can go just for giggles, kicking kids off the ride for running, making up complicated answers that don't make sense in response to a simple question like "how fast does this ride go?", when asked if the ride goes upside down your response is "yes after it goes underwater and then through fire"

23. Your greatest ambition is to steal a "ride closed" sign

24. You've hit the e-stop on a roller coaster while telling a story about the other times you've hit the e-stop

25. You can judge the weight of a person by just looking at them and guess which rides they won't be able to fit into

I am kinda addicted to these thingys.....

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Yesterday....

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I went to church and made a man with my kindergarteners (a man puppet that is). I decided that he was going to be my summer romance but alas it didn't last. A little boy decided to color his puppet's hair green and that just isn't done in church you know. So my puppet was taken away from me and given to another. Oh well another day another love, that's what I always say. I'm glad the puppet and I didn't make it together because I met my Prince Charming on the Bumper Cars that very night at work. Yesterday I finally had a use for my four years of Spanish classes in high school. Four Mexican men decided I was very pretty and decided to hit on me...in Spanish. As evidenced by the surprised looks on there faces, they were not expecting me to understand me and then I responded to one of there statements with a saucy "gracias". It was a thing of beauty to be sure! My friend Kyle asked if I gave them my phone number. Fear not I didn't give it to them! They had bad teeth or I totally would have because that coincides with my personality so well. I really can't recall any guy who has ever asked for my phone number that I have actually given to or even remotely considered giving it to...I'm such a boring person I should live a little, do something random and off the wall for once! I need to do something courageous for once in my life. I think I have discovered just how to get my courage to do it....earrings! Earrings can be very empowering things! The right pair of earrings can help a girl to things she would have never have thought about doing previously! On that note I'm going to go eat something because my tummy's making hungry noises.